Listen To The Dead Woodpecker

Things You Can Learn From A Dead Bird

What is the biggest difference between men and women? The death of the poor woodpecker gave me the answer. Women have a far-sighted view of life and men are near-sighted.

It was a dismal winter’s day as the four of us drove along. The trees were bare and the sky was gray. There was no color in sight except for the splash of bright red in the middle of the road which was the woodpecker standing there.

It was such a striking animal all eyes in the car focused on it in order to drink in the beauty. All eyes, that is, except for the driver, my wife. I am still not sure at what she was looking, but as we rapidly approached the woodpecker in the middle of the road, it became apparent she was looking elsewhere. It also became apparent the bird was suicidal when it refused to move.

I would have warned my wife about the approaching collision, but my ears were still burning from the time I tried to warn her about the pot hole which had jolted us earlier.

Thump… thump, the poor bird bounced twice under the car. “What was that,” my wife asked. The three of us answered in unison, “A woodpecker!” But now it was just a dead bird.

The death of that poor bird made me realize women have a far-sighted view of live and men are near-sighted. This woman, who cannot see a bird directly in front of her and who is on a first name basis with everyone at Al’s Alignment, can spot a kid on a bike at 3000 yards. “Watch out for that kid on the bike with the blue tennis shoes riding his bike in the back yard.”

“I will watch out for him when he gets in the same area code as us.” My wife is not unique among women in her view of the world. If two women meet and one of them has a bad haircut, the other woman will say her hair looks good. “Why, Alice, that new haircut looks so good on you. You are lucky, that haircut would look bad on me, but it looks great on you.” This is a far-sighted view of life. A woman will look into the future and realize she wants to remain friends, so she will not do anything which might jeopardize the friendship.

If two men meet and one of them has a bad haircut, the response is quite different. A man will look at his friend, laugh hysterically and say, “Bill, what happened, you get a little too close to the weed-eater this week-end?” It does not stop there, a man will summon all nearby men so they can all enjoy the new haircut.

A man will look into the future, just like a woman, and want to remain friends. Since men have a near-sighted view of life, they cannot look past the bad haircut.

The world is certainly more interesting with men and women viewing life from different perspectives. How do I know this? A little bird told me; a dead little red headed woodpecker bird.

Randy Russ
http://www.randyruss.com/